I’m 40 Weeks and 4 Days

Chapter I: I’m 40 Weeks and 4 Days

Oh my goodness, this is it.  It’s time!  These are definitely not Braxton Hicks.  
Babe!  
Babe!  
Baby!  
Wake up!  
I’m in labor!!!!!!!!  

It’s 5:30am and the pain is excruciating.   I need to time my contractions.  Breathe.  Ok.  Here comes another one, it’s 5:40am.  Ok, I can deal with this.  I have enough time to get ready.  I have enough time to get Cassidy to my ex-husband’s so he can take her to school.  

Ten minutes is a long time.  

I know that this is it.  Let me call my doctor just to alert her. 

Fuck!! 

Shit!!! 

Damn!!! 

The frigging pain!!!!

Ok, still trying to call my ex. Why the fuck isn’t this dude answering his phone?  He knows I’m due any day now!  He was told that I would bring Cassidy to him.  Answer the damn phone!!!!  One more time… if that asshole doesn’t answer the phone…geeze. Ok, ok... stay calm. Stay f u c k i n g calm.

Fuck me!!!! 

It’s 7:35am and the contractions are now about seven to eight minutes apart.  My hospital bag is packed.  I have my insurance card, my robe, my slippers, the baby’s outfit and my husband.  My husband?  Where is he?  Babe!!!  Wake up! We have to go.  

I’m not sleeping, he mumbled.  Did your water break? 

No, not yet but now my contractions are about five minutes apart.  

What did your doctor say when you called her?  

I didn’t speak to her. No, yes. … I did, I I I did did speak to her. I couldn’t get the words out. The pain was suffocating. She wants me to go to the hospital once my contractions are five minutes apart and once I get there, they will call her.

It’s now 8am. Get my bag babe.  I’m ready! Contractions are five minutes apart.

We get to our car and I can barely fit.  I am huge.  I was 40 weeks, four days ago.  But you can deliver two weeks before or two weeks after your official due date, so I resigned to waiting two more weeks.  But here it was, she was coming…four days after my due date.

We arrived at the hospital around 8:30am.  I had already pre-registered, so I was taken directly up to labor and delivery.  I signed in with the technician, they hooked me up to the machines and began to monitor my contractions. The freaking tech couldn’t get the IV line in my hand. She kept sticking me. It took her about four tries to get the needle placed. Talking some shit about my rolling veins. I wanted to punch her in her fucking face. But, finally the IV was in and my D5 saline fluids were dripping.  I was ready to have this baby.

They transferred me to my private room, my nurse came in to introduce herself, I got hooked up to another machine and the next thing you know it was time to push.

My doctor came in to check on me.  She said I was 7 centimeters dilated.  The contractions were now more frequent.  I don’t know how many minutes or seconds apart, but they hurt like hell.

I felt like I lost consciousness each time. This was a pain I had never experienced before.

I finally asked for drugs.  It was too late.  I couldn’t get any medication, I was now 8 centimeters and the baby’s head was crowning.  

I don’t know what time it was at this point…but I was told that it was time to push, I’m now 10 centimeters.

You’re doing gre…blah blah blah.  

What the hell is he saying, I thought.  

The contractions stopped.  

What did you say babe?  As soon as he started to answer, the contractions were back.  Every 2 minutes.  

Push through the contractions, you can do it, this is it.  

Push!

After 30 minutes, I was still pushing.

Push!

Breathe!! 

Push!!

Breathe!!

Push!!!

Breathe!!!

We have to cut you.

Cut me? CUT ME? No, no, no!!! I can push. I don’t want a cesarean.

No, not a c-section. An episiotomy. 

Snip! I felt it. I was back to pushing again.

Moments passed and I felt the relief and the pressure subside from my womb.

She was finally here. 

They stitched me up and all care turned towards the baby.

My husband had left my side as soon as the umbilical cord was cut.  He was standing next to his daughter, then holding her, then she was on my chest.

Her head full of black silky hair, pale face, eyes closed, and just a little doll.

*The above is excerpts from the first chapter in my book, "Where's My Vagina: what to expect when a diva's expecting," and based on true events of my 3 pregnancies* The artworks are from my 3 girls...