I’m Now Awake

For the past 8 years I’ve been asleep

I slept in complacency 

I slept, knowing that the man at the helm

was inclusive

had my back

Really cared about people

I slept not having to worry about my rights

My rights as a woman 

my rights as an immigrant

my rights as a minority

my triple whammy wasn’t bothering me

so I slept comfortably

 *explicit lyrics

Day one I cried with joy

I voted for him

Day one was an amazing prideful day 

I saw new registrants in record numbers

people who never voted 

came out in droves

they woke up with pride

they wanted to be a part of the legacy

a part of history

We believed we were seeing change

so we then slept comfortably

8 Years later I am still beaming with pride

but now a new fear has awaken in me

I can no longer sleep 

complacency has left me

I’m up now for I see that satan has come

trying to undo all your work

So I’m up now

he wants to send us back

So I’m up now

no longer can I sleep comfortably

I can no longer sleep

For the past 8 years I’ve been asleep 

Today, I no longer sleep in complacency

I am now awake, knowing the man at the helm

Is not inclusive

no longer has my back

Really do not care about people

I’m awake and worried about my rights

my rights as a woman

my rights as an immigrant

my rights as a minority

My triple whammy wasn’t bothering me

so I used to sleep comfortably 

I’m Now Awake…

written 1-28-17

#AlternativeFacts

Alternative Facts = Lies

Being that I’m in healthcare, when I hear the word alternative, I think medicine. Not once have I heard the word alternative and fact in the same sentence. So an alternative fact would be a lie, no? Since a fact is the truth and the alternative of that truth is a lie, that would logically mean that an alternative fact is a lie. Or maybe in an alternate universe lies are true and truths are lies. I have no idea. So I took to the dictionary. There is no such listing as alternative fact but there is alternative. As a noun: alternative is a choice limited to one of two or more possibilities, as of things, propositions, or courses of action, the selection of which precludes any other possibility.  As an adjective: alternative is affording a choice of two or more things, propositions, or courses of action, and in logic (of a proposition) asserting two or more choices, at least one of which is true. Which would lead me to conclude that facts have no alternatives.

I’m just trying to wrap my head around this new age under Trump. So, based on what I’ve seen so far these are some alternative facts...starting with him having millions of people at his inauguration. Alternative fact. We won't know for sure until several weeks but a picture is worth a thousand words. 

(FYI: Obama had approximately 1.8 million at his inauguration in 2009 and 1 mill in 2013...this is not an alternative fact. Lol.)

Donald is not the president. Alternative fact. We can act as though Hillary won and start to address her as madame president. 

Donald has respect for his wife, Melania. Alternative fact.

He arrives at the White House, gets out of the car, does not wait for his wife and immediately goes up the steps to greet the Obamas. Melania follows.

Donald and Melania’s first dance at the inaugural ball was that of a couple completely enamored with each other. Alternative fact.

Melania loves Donald. Alternative fact.

Do you have some alternative facts to share? Please do. Lol ;)

#AlternativeFacts

The Morning After

The Morning After: organizing around your remorse, fear and anger. 

 Chang W. Lee/The New York Times (Photo credit)

When you've had unprotected sex, the next morning you can simply go to the pharmacy and purchase Plan B aka the morning after pill. When you fail a course in university, you can either retake the class and work for a better grade or take it again pass/fail (providing it's an elective). When you vote for the wrong official, you can't make such a simple choice or decision, you have to wait years. Elections have consequences. 

Ruth Fremson/The New York Times

Today's women's march is a byproduct of that consequence. We march today because we made the wrong choice last November. We march today because we have buyers remorse and we can't return the item. We march today because your new president wants to grab you by pussy and you're fighting back. We march today because we still have more progressing to do. We march as John Lewis did for civil rights. We march like MLK, so that little black girls can hold hands with little white girls and shout that we are one. We march today so we can have a more inclusive, a more accepting, a more progressive union. We march today to stand for something, otherwise we'll fall for anything. Use that remorse, that anger and get organized. So, when anyone grabs you, YOU GRAB BACK!

#WomensMarch #WhyIMarch

#March2017

Ode to FLOTUS MO

Ode to FLOTUS MO: Goodbye to our First Lady

From the South side of Chicago

You rose to rock the world

Even before we called you first lady

You were making a difference to boys and girls

You saw qualities in people

Whose dreams were never high

You told them to believe in themselves

And set their goals to the sky

You knew that girls like you were out there

With smarts and talents and grades

But never pushed to succeed 

Because they were set up to fail 

Just needed a little encouragement

A little push and someone to care

This is why parents, teachers and counselors are important 

Oh, they are so dear

You proved how genuine you are

When you took the world stage by storm

You came in with a host of experience 

No scandal in your way

No nude pictures on magazine covers 

No questioning your legitimacy

You didn’t know it yet, but the White House was ready 

Princeton left it’s mark on you

Then Harvard you shall go

Lawyer

Public servant

Wife, Mother

Writer

First Lady

Role model

You entered to criticism 

They said you were too tough

You handled it with such grace and class

Their hate 

You, it could not touch

You said when they go low

You always must go high

And you continued to amaze me

Taking it all with a smile

And when they thought you were down and out

Your approval rose so high

Your poise, your elegance, your grace, your style

Will be missed in this hateful place

So, now it’s time to send you off

Maybe… 

Back to Chicago?

But wherever you may end up 

I know your mark will be indelible 

We’ll miss your sleeveless dresses

And your toothy smile

We’ll miss your caring demeanor 

We’ll miss the White House being “our” house

Your dancing and fist bumping

We’ll miss you jumping rope and watching your work outs

We’ll even miss those sides eyes

To those chicks checking your husband out

So… 

Forget… what all the haters say

You were a great first lady

The best dressed and most accessible

The one who gave us hope

The one who gave designers a shot

The one who said you can do it

The one who went to bat for the little guy

And no matter where you're from

Whether from the South Side of Chicago 

Whether you’re Black or White

Whether you’re gay or straight

From Europe or from Africa

We ALL can be great

FLOTUS MO, you will be missed 

But never ever forgotten 

The World is a better place now, because we’ve come to know you

And for all you’ve done for girls

And the help to military families

And most importantly, for all you’ve done for me

You’ll always be my First Lady

Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama

Your legacy lives with me

#FlotusMO #MichelleObama 

Relationships are like…

Like what? What is your relationship like? Some say they’re hard work, others says it’s like having a kid, and still others say it’s a pain in the ass and shouldn’t be so much work, but they wouldn’t trade it for the world…and I agree. I’ve been in a relationship for sixteen years and it’s all of the above but I have a story to tell about a good friend of mine.

I’ve known this young lady for about two years now and we’ve become friends within the last year. She’s married and has two sons. She’s been married for 8 years. But for the past several months, she hasn’t been feeling her husband. I don’t have the details because I don’t want to push her, when she’s ready to tell me what happened, I’ll listen. But this is what I know…her husband has been communicating with another female via text and she found out. She confronted him and he said nothing has happened. This woman flirts with him and apparently he likes the attention. Attention he hasn’t been getting at home. He said he hasn’t stepped out on the marriage. My friend, on the other hand, thinks that simple flirting can lead to more things, so she threatened to leave. She’s been really stressed out, hasn’t been eating and is really contemplating leaving. Her husband said he doesn’t want her to leave and more importantly, he will not lose his sons. I noticed she’s been flirting with other guys, I think in an attempt to make herself feel better but I see nothing but bad news when things are done for revenge.

Anyway, today the conversation came up about fighting to keep your relationship together. The exact words were, “fighting for your man.” I said, it’s not worth throwing away the relationship over a few text messages. There are also times when you have to chase certain women away from your man. There are some females out there that are just disrespectful. The other ladies in the room agreed.

Sometimes when things get challenging in a relationship, don’t make a rash decision. Sit back. Think of the pros and cons. Think about the good memories. The happier days. If there are more bad days than good, maybe it’s time to cut your losses, however, if the good outweighs the bad, then you need to have a discussion with your partner and come to a decision that sets you on the path to saving the relationship.

I’ve been on the verge of leaving a few times…but I had to cool down before I made a rash decision.

I’m never one to tell anyone what to do when it comes to their relationships, however, there are clear cut times when one should leave. If you’re being abused. Get help and get the hell out. Leave. If your partner is living a double life. Leave. If you’ve been cheated on with a close friend or family member. This is just so egregious that there is no forgiving it. Leave. If your partner is abusive to the children. Get the fuck out.

So, yes relationships are hard, but when you find the right person, hold on and don't let external factors and haters ruin what you’ve built. Now, like I said, I don't know all the details of my friend's situation, but I would tell her the same thing. Try to work it out.

(on a side note, don't ever tell your friends all the details of your relationship issues, they are always the ones to remind you of them when you've long forgotten. In other words: misery loves company.)

The reason I can’t find my vagina

About 10 years ago, I started to write this book called “Where’s My Vagina: What to expect when a diva is expecting.” Just as the title suggests, it’s a pregnancy book.  It’s written from birth to conception, so in essence it’s written backwards.  It’s a story that’s loosely based on my three pregnancies and those of family and friends…just to spice it up a bit. I never finished that book but hope to, some day. This blog is my way of keeping the fire lit under me to make sure I get this book done.  Not only will there be excerpts from the book but also poetry, inspirational stories of women that inspire us, as well as, controversial issues that women face, including rape, abortion and sexual harassment. We are claiming our womanhood back. No one should grab you by the pussy and get away with it. 

###

I remember coming out of the shower, looking in the mirror and asking myself the question…where the hell is my vagina.  I was 8 months pregnant, couldn’t bend, couldn’t sleep comfortably and swollen like a potbellied pig. Heartburn. Sweats.  Back aches. Sensitivity to smells. Stretch marks. Frequent bathroom stops. The gestation illnesses. And not to mention the vomiting. So, to every woman that’s been pregnant, I see you. To every woman that has experienced this…trying to groom and not being able to do it the way you’re accustomed to, this one’s for you. To every woman that’s ever been violated, I see you. And to every woman that was told they weren’t good enough, fuck ‘em.